Carter Luke Vermilyea - Part 13
We headed off to our appointment with Dr. McMath, the pediatric orthopedic doctor. We had seen him once before when Caroline had a possible leg length discrepancy, so we were somewhat familiar with him. I cannot say enough about how wonderful our visit with him was.
I was holding Carter when he walked in and he just sat in front of us and took a look at Carter’s arm. I was emotional right away, but did my best to not cry. Dr. McMath was gentle with Carter. He was kind to us, and had wonderful bedside manner. He right away told us a few possibilities as to why he was born missing his hand/forearm, generally referred to as a limb deficiency. First, it could have been something called Amniotic Band Syndrome. We had heard about that in the hospital as a possibility, but we didn’t really think that was it. Basically, there are bands that sometimes pull away from the uterine wall and float around in the amniotic fluid. Occasionally, those bands can wrap themselves around parts of the baby, and in turn stop blood supply to whatever is beyond the band. That part of the body just stops forming and basically unattaches. Dr. McMath did not believe that was what happened with Carter. Carter’s arm stops a little below the elbow and there are a few fingers that had begun to grow. If it had been an amniotic band, those fingers would not have been there at all.
The second thing that could have caused this is basically just a stop in growth. For whatever reason, sometimes growth just stops. There was a better word for it, but I can’t remember it. As Dr. McMath said, “It doesn’t matter how it happened, it won’t affect anything now or in the future. We just know that here is Carter, and he’s going to be just fine.” The doctor continued to talk to us about Carter’s arm. He took a few x-rays and found out several good things:
1. Carter’s humerus bone (upper arm) was completely there. It was the same as the other arm, and the shoulder joint was normal, also. This means that Carter should have normal growth in that bone, and normal range of motion with the shoulder.
2. The elbow joint looked normal.
3. The radius and ulna (lower arm bones) were not fused together, which means that he can rotate his elbow. Also, this might allow for some continued growth in that part of his arm, also.
4. Carter has 2 fingers, one a bit smaller than the other, and the bud of another finger that had started to form. It is amazing because these fingers, all 3, actually grow fingernails! Wow.
Dr. McMath said that all of these things were great signs that Carter was going to have a lot of use of his arm. I told him about Carter holding my hand in the hospital with his elbow joint, and he thought that was wonderful. He said we would be amazed at what he would be able to do. He also said that most kids like Carter don’t want prosthetics and that they would rather use their own arm to do things. He also said that some parents, when tiny fingers are present, sometimes want to have them surgically removed. He encouraged us not to, because they may be what allows him to do something later in life he would not have been able to do otherwise. This really comforted me. To be reminded that everything has a purpose.
Dr. McMath also told me never to worry that it was my fault. There was nothing I had done to cause this. I needed to hear that…I thought often in those days, “What if it’s my fault?”
Before we left, he encouraged us to come back in 6 months so he could monitor Carter’s growth. I asked him what we needed to do. How will he crawl? How will we teach him to do certain things and who is going to teach us how to teach him? Dr. McMath said, “All you need to do is love him. He will teach you way more than you can ever teach him. Just go and give him lots of love.”
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Carter Luke Vermilyea - Part 12
Carter was born on Friday and he had his first pediatrician’s appointment on Tuesday. He had shown some signs of jaundice and we were just going in for them to see how he was doing. Ryan didn’t go with me because he had come down with a stomach virus overnight. My mom gladly went with me though. As we waited to see the doctor, I remember asking my mom, “So, do I tell them about Carter’s arm before I unwrap him from the blanket, or do I just let her see and see what she says?” I knew I was going to be emotional about it either way.
Dr. Rice and the nurse came in and when they were oohing and aahhing over him I went ahead and told the doctor about his arm/hand situation. She was SO loving! She checked out his arm and was just real encouraging to me. I cried while she shared about her college roommate who had an arm just like Carter’s. She shared about how she became so adept at using her arm, that most people didn’t even notice she was missing anything. It wasn’t that Dr. Rice was trying to tell me people wouldn’t notice, but she was trying to encourage me that he will use that arm and be able to do most anything. I was amazed that our pediatrician had a close relationship with someone like Carter. Wow. I have no doubt that God ordained that appointment. It was encouraging.
Dr.Rice said that somewhere down the road she would put us in contact with a pediatric orthopedic doctor. I told her we had gone ahead on our own and made an appointment with someone we knew of for the next morning. I asked her if we should go now, and she encouraged us to keep the appointment. She said that it would be good for us to hear what the orthopedic doctor had to say and be encouraged by him also.
So, I left there emotional and encouraged. Amazed that God had placed Dr. Rice in our life for a day such as this. We were really excited for our appointment the next day.
Carter was born on Friday and he had his first pediatrician’s appointment on Tuesday. He had shown some signs of jaundice and we were just going in for them to see how he was doing. Ryan didn’t go with me because he had come down with a stomach virus overnight. My mom gladly went with me though. As we waited to see the doctor, I remember asking my mom, “So, do I tell them about Carter’s arm before I unwrap him from the blanket, or do I just let her see and see what she says?” I knew I was going to be emotional about it either way.
Dr. Rice and the nurse came in and when they were oohing and aahhing over him I went ahead and told the doctor about his arm/hand situation. She was SO loving! She checked out his arm and was just real encouraging to me. I cried while she shared about her college roommate who had an arm just like Carter’s. She shared about how she became so adept at using her arm, that most people didn’t even notice she was missing anything. It wasn’t that Dr. Rice was trying to tell me people wouldn’t notice, but she was trying to encourage me that he will use that arm and be able to do most anything. I was amazed that our pediatrician had a close relationship with someone like Carter. Wow. I have no doubt that God ordained that appointment. It was encouraging.
Dr.Rice said that somewhere down the road she would put us in contact with a pediatric orthopedic doctor. I told her we had gone ahead on our own and made an appointment with someone we knew of for the next morning. I asked her if we should go now, and she encouraged us to keep the appointment. She said that it would be good for us to hear what the orthopedic doctor had to say and be encouraged by him also.
So, I left there emotional and encouraged. Amazed that God had placed Dr. Rice in our life for a day such as this. We were really excited for our appointment the next day.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Carter Luke Vermilyea - Part 11
A lot of talking, prayer, and crying went into the preparation for going home from the hospital. Ryan and I were both excited to take Carter home. We were especially excited for Caroline to get to meet her baby brother. With this excitement came the uncertainty of what she would say about his missing hand. We had not talked to her about it yet, because we wanted her to see his arm at the same time we were talking about it. Would would she say? What she be scared of his arm? Would she not love him because it was “different”? Would she think something was wrong with him? What if she asked why he was like that? How would we talk to her about it without becoming emotional? We knew we wanted to be honest with her about it and we would not hide our emotions, but we know that whatever we portrayed to her would be how she would react too. Caroline might have only been 2 ½ years old, but she is quite observant and verbal!
So, we headed home from the hospital, very excited yet a little anxious too.
I can still see Caroline come running out the door when we got home. She couldn’t wait to see Carter! We were excited to see her and ready to explain to her about her brother. My parents were there, but they just allowed the four of us, our new little family, the time to sit and talk. All Caroline wanted to do was hold Carter! Before we got him out of the car seat, Ryan talked to Caroline.
Ryan: Who made you?
Caroline: God. Can I hold baby Carter?
Ryan: Well, God made Carter too. You know how he made you with two hands?
Caroline: Yea. Can I hold him?
Ryan: Well, he only made Carter with one hand. (And we showed her Carter’s arm.)
Caroline: Oh, ok. Well, can I hold him now?
So we finally let Caroline hold Carter.
Pretty special to us that Caroline didn’t care that he only had one hand. It wasn’t a big deal. She just wanted to hold him. Isn’t that neat? She wasn’t concerned with what we found ourselves worried about. She just wanted to love on her sweet baby brother. My prayer is that that will always be our attitude. That we will try not to worry over the what-ifs, or over how Carter will do things. But just love on him and allow him to be who God made him to be.
A lot of talking, prayer, and crying went into the preparation for going home from the hospital. Ryan and I were both excited to take Carter home. We were especially excited for Caroline to get to meet her baby brother. With this excitement came the uncertainty of what she would say about his missing hand. We had not talked to her about it yet, because we wanted her to see his arm at the same time we were talking about it. Would would she say? What she be scared of his arm? Would she not love him because it was “different”? Would she think something was wrong with him? What if she asked why he was like that? How would we talk to her about it without becoming emotional? We knew we wanted to be honest with her about it and we would not hide our emotions, but we know that whatever we portrayed to her would be how she would react too. Caroline might have only been 2 ½ years old, but she is quite observant and verbal!
So, we headed home from the hospital, very excited yet a little anxious too.
I can still see Caroline come running out the door when we got home. She couldn’t wait to see Carter! We were excited to see her and ready to explain to her about her brother. My parents were there, but they just allowed the four of us, our new little family, the time to sit and talk. All Caroline wanted to do was hold Carter! Before we got him out of the car seat, Ryan talked to Caroline.
Ryan: Who made you?
Caroline: God. Can I hold baby Carter?
Ryan: Well, God made Carter too. You know how he made you with two hands?
Caroline: Yea. Can I hold him?
Ryan: Well, he only made Carter with one hand. (And we showed her Carter’s arm.)
Caroline: Oh, ok. Well, can I hold him now?
So we finally let Caroline hold Carter.
Pretty special to us that Caroline didn’t care that he only had one hand. It wasn’t a big deal. She just wanted to hold him. Isn’t that neat? She wasn’t concerned with what we found ourselves worried about. She just wanted to love on her sweet baby brother. My prayer is that that will always be our attitude. That we will try not to worry over the what-ifs, or over how Carter will do things. But just love on him and allow him to be who God made him to be.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
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Carter Luke Vermilyea - Part 10
Carter was born on the Friday before Thanksgiving. Our church was having a big Thanksgiving banquet on Sunday night, as they always do. It is a time of sharing good food, worship, and then a time with opportunities for people to share what they are thankful for. My mom stayed with me while Ryan went to the banquet. He felt like he wanted to share with the church family about Carter. We assumed most had probably heard by now about his arm, and he wanted to share with them personally. He wanted to share with them so they would know how we were doing as a family. He wanted them to know it was okay to talk to us about it. We wanted them to know that it was okay to let their kids ask questions. We wanted them to know they could look at his arm and not feel like they were bothering us. More than anything, Ryan and I wanted them to know that we didn’t want them to ignore it and act like it didn’t happen. You see, at church that morning, no one really said anything to Ryan about it. They congratulated him on Carter’s birth, but said nothing about his arm. We were not hurt by that. He knew it was only because people didn’t know what to say, and didn’t know how we were doing emotionally. But, we also needed people to ask about it, so we could talk about it with them. We welcomed that, and that showed us people cared about Carter almost as much as we did!
While Ryan was gone to the banquet, one of the nurses came in to go over a few things with me in preparation for our heading home the next morning. When she was finished, she asked, “How are you doing with everything?” I knew she was referring to Carter and his arm. I was then able to share with her how it was hard at times, but that we also have the hope that God made him, that he is perfectly formed, and how we can trust in that. Of course, I was crying through all of that. The nurse just stared at me, as her eyes filled with tears. I was pretty sure that was such a foreign concept to her – that she had trouble understanding my faith. She said nothing else, but nodded, and left the room. God impressed upon my heart in that moment that He would use Carter’s lack of a hand to open doors for us (and later for him) to share His love with others. I cried, realizing that, only days old, Carter’s life was already being used as a testimony to the Lord.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Carter Luke Vermilyea - Part 9
I was so impressed with how quickly I was able to do things after the c-section this time around. I know everyone says you heal faster after the first one, but I believe it was all part of God’s plan for those days. Instead of being sick and hardly able to move, I could move and didn’t feel sick at all! I could focus on Carter and just loving him.
Within a day or so after Carter being born, Ryan and I were better able to grasp all that had come as a surprise to us. Although still quite emotional and dealing with all sorts of feelings, we both knew that God was not a God of mistakes. This was part of His plan for Carter’s life, and the path we would all take as a family. Would it always be easy? Probably not. As humans, we assume things about the future and can so easily worry about situations that are to come. But, knowing that God loves us and purposed all this to happen, we knew we needed to take one day at a time, trusting Him completely. Would we always do that, without moments of doubt? Most likely not. But it was what we needed to strive to do.
I was so impressed with how quickly I was able to do things after the c-section this time around. I know everyone says you heal faster after the first one, but I believe it was all part of God’s plan for those days. Instead of being sick and hardly able to move, I could move and didn’t feel sick at all! I could focus on Carter and just loving him.
Within a day or so after Carter being born, Ryan and I were better able to grasp all that had come as a surprise to us. Although still quite emotional and dealing with all sorts of feelings, we both knew that God was not a God of mistakes. This was part of His plan for Carter’s life, and the path we would all take as a family. Would it always be easy? Probably not. As humans, we assume things about the future and can so easily worry about situations that are to come. But, knowing that God loves us and purposed all this to happen, we knew we needed to take one day at a time, trusting Him completely. Would we always do that, without moments of doubt? Most likely not. But it was what we needed to strive to do.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Carter Luke Vermilyea - Part 8
There were many joys those few days in the hospital.
I was reminded of what a wonderful husband and father Ryan is. I know it was a wonderful and tough day for him. I remember thinking how exciting yet difficult it must have been for him to call our families and close friends and let them know that Carter was born, but also explain to them that he was born without his left hand and lower part of his arm. It also made me so happy to see him thrilled to go meet Caroline at the nursery to introduce her to her brother! When we talked about all the what-ifs in regards to Carter, Ryan was also quick to remind me that we had to take one day at a time. He shared his emotions, and was just an awesome guy to be with! I loved watching him with Carter.
On the day of Carter’s birth, one of the many times that I just was sitting and holding him, I was looking at his arm. I was thinking about how I had pretty much neglected to touch his arm or hold it. I had held his other hand and felt his fingers over and over, just like every new mother does. But, I realized in that moment that I had not really touched his other arm at all. I think I was nervous, or something…I don’t really know how to describe it. As I sat there and stared at Carter, he moved his left arm (the one without a hand) over and hooked my fingers in his elbow and held it tightly! It got my attention so fast. He was holding my hand. It was like he was saying to me, “It’s okay, mommy. I’m okay. Just hold my arm.” I just wept. In that moment I knew that God was using the experience to let me know that it was all ok. I had been thinking about how I would never be able to hold that hand, and instead, Carter showed me that I could – because he held mine.
These are just a few of the joys from those first days.
There were many joys those few days in the hospital.
I was reminded of what a wonderful husband and father Ryan is. I know it was a wonderful and tough day for him. I remember thinking how exciting yet difficult it must have been for him to call our families and close friends and let them know that Carter was born, but also explain to them that he was born without his left hand and lower part of his arm. It also made me so happy to see him thrilled to go meet Caroline at the nursery to introduce her to her brother! When we talked about all the what-ifs in regards to Carter, Ryan was also quick to remind me that we had to take one day at a time. He shared his emotions, and was just an awesome guy to be with! I loved watching him with Carter.
On the day of Carter’s birth, one of the many times that I just was sitting and holding him, I was looking at his arm. I was thinking about how I had pretty much neglected to touch his arm or hold it. I had held his other hand and felt his fingers over and over, just like every new mother does. But, I realized in that moment that I had not really touched his other arm at all. I think I was nervous, or something…I don’t really know how to describe it. As I sat there and stared at Carter, he moved his left arm (the one without a hand) over and hooked my fingers in his elbow and held it tightly! It got my attention so fast. He was holding my hand. It was like he was saying to me, “It’s okay, mommy. I’m okay. Just hold my arm.” I just wept. In that moment I knew that God was using the experience to let me know that it was all ok. I had been thinking about how I would never be able to hold that hand, and instead, Carter showed me that I could – because he held mine.
These are just a few of the joys from those first days.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Carter Luke Vermilyea - Part 7
Due to the flu being so prevalent that time of year, the hospital had a strict visitors policy. Ryan and our parents were the only ones allowed in the room. Before the birth, I remember feeling so disappointed that Caroline couldn’t meet Carter right away, and that we couldn’t have other visitors those days we were in the hospital. But, by the end of our hospital stay we knew that God had even a purpose in this, too.
You see, those days were so important for us as a couple and a family. We were in shock, to say the least, for awhile. We also needed time for Ryan and me to process all that we were thinking and feeling. We had so many questions…some for God, some for each other, some for nobody in particular. How did this happen? What did I do wrong while I was pregnant? Is it my fault? I knew they said it was nothing I did…but still, what if they were wrong? Is Carter going to be sad? Is he going to be okay? What will Caroline say? People are going to make fun of him, aren’t they? How will he crawl? How will I teach him to tie his shoes? How will Ryan play ball with him in the yard? Is it going to be okay? Why? These are only a handful of what all we talked about. Questions we asked ourselves. I won’t lie and say it wasn’t a tough couple of days. Yes, we were overjoyed with our son. Our son…a precious gift from the Lord. We were just unsure of so much and trying to pray our way through it all. We were really leaning on the Lord. This was/is the hardest thing I have ever gone through.
As I was saying before, if we had been allowed to have visitors, there would have been friends and church members showing up at the hospital right away that morning…not realizing the situation they were coming into to. I would have felt bad for them, because I know it would have been difficult for them too…they had walked through the pregnancy and all the ultrasounds with us…praying along the way too. And I know they would have felt uncomfortable because of all we were dealing with as a family.
Also, Ryan and I needed those days to have privacy…a time to talk together and begin this journey together. We spent the nights (and days) thinking, talking, crying, and praying through everything. We needed to talk about all that had changed in just a few short minutes…or at least what had changed to our knowledge. It was always part of God’s plan for us. We needed to leave the hospital together…in more ways than just physically, but also spiritually and emotionally. And we needed to just love on our little boy.
I also cherish the days I got to sit in the hospital room with my mom or dad or both of them, and talk about Carter and what God had planned for him. To just sit quietly, or cry with them. Whatever emotion came at whatever time.
So, as I said before, God had a plan in even the little things. If we could have had visitors, it wouldn’t have been a quiet time away for us…a time to do all that I mentioned above. This time was so special for us.
I am also so grateful that my parents were there for Caroline. They took care of her, brought her up to see Carter, had lots of fun with her. That allowed us not to worry about that aspect of life at that time. We knew she was taken care of. And instead of Ryan trying to coordinate her whereabouts, he could be with me and love on sweet little Carter.
We also had the opportunity to have conversations with my siblings and their spouses during those days in the hospital that were very special and meaningful, as did Ryan with his family. They were nothing but encouraging…and it was so good to know that they loved our son so much.
I can also remember walking out to meet Caroline at the nursery so she could see Carter. She was such a big girl now. She had only seen Carter in the nursery window, so I wondered what she would say about his arm when we brought him home.
I appreciated friends' emails and phone calls. I can still remember one dear friend calling not longer after he was born and saying, “Kim, I just wanted to call and say I love you.” And that Ryan and I were going to be awesome parents for Carter. Then, she cried on the phone with me. How meaningful this was for me.
Those days were so important.
Due to the flu being so prevalent that time of year, the hospital had a strict visitors policy. Ryan and our parents were the only ones allowed in the room. Before the birth, I remember feeling so disappointed that Caroline couldn’t meet Carter right away, and that we couldn’t have other visitors those days we were in the hospital. But, by the end of our hospital stay we knew that God had even a purpose in this, too.
You see, those days were so important for us as a couple and a family. We were in shock, to say the least, for awhile. We also needed time for Ryan and me to process all that we were thinking and feeling. We had so many questions…some for God, some for each other, some for nobody in particular. How did this happen? What did I do wrong while I was pregnant? Is it my fault? I knew they said it was nothing I did…but still, what if they were wrong? Is Carter going to be sad? Is he going to be okay? What will Caroline say? People are going to make fun of him, aren’t they? How will he crawl? How will I teach him to tie his shoes? How will Ryan play ball with him in the yard? Is it going to be okay? Why? These are only a handful of what all we talked about. Questions we asked ourselves. I won’t lie and say it wasn’t a tough couple of days. Yes, we were overjoyed with our son. Our son…a precious gift from the Lord. We were just unsure of so much and trying to pray our way through it all. We were really leaning on the Lord. This was/is the hardest thing I have ever gone through.
As I was saying before, if we had been allowed to have visitors, there would have been friends and church members showing up at the hospital right away that morning…not realizing the situation they were coming into to. I would have felt bad for them, because I know it would have been difficult for them too…they had walked through the pregnancy and all the ultrasounds with us…praying along the way too. And I know they would have felt uncomfortable because of all we were dealing with as a family.
Also, Ryan and I needed those days to have privacy…a time to talk together and begin this journey together. We spent the nights (and days) thinking, talking, crying, and praying through everything. We needed to talk about all that had changed in just a few short minutes…or at least what had changed to our knowledge. It was always part of God’s plan for us. We needed to leave the hospital together…in more ways than just physically, but also spiritually and emotionally. And we needed to just love on our little boy.
I also cherish the days I got to sit in the hospital room with my mom or dad or both of them, and talk about Carter and what God had planned for him. To just sit quietly, or cry with them. Whatever emotion came at whatever time.
So, as I said before, God had a plan in even the little things. If we could have had visitors, it wouldn’t have been a quiet time away for us…a time to do all that I mentioned above. This time was so special for us.
I am also so grateful that my parents were there for Caroline. They took care of her, brought her up to see Carter, had lots of fun with her. That allowed us not to worry about that aspect of life at that time. We knew she was taken care of. And instead of Ryan trying to coordinate her whereabouts, he could be with me and love on sweet little Carter.
We also had the opportunity to have conversations with my siblings and their spouses during those days in the hospital that were very special and meaningful, as did Ryan with his family. They were nothing but encouraging…and it was so good to know that they loved our son so much.
I can also remember walking out to meet Caroline at the nursery so she could see Carter. She was such a big girl now. She had only seen Carter in the nursery window, so I wondered what she would say about his arm when we brought him home.
I appreciated friends' emails and phone calls. I can still remember one dear friend calling not longer after he was born and saying, “Kim, I just wanted to call and say I love you.” And that Ryan and I were going to be awesome parents for Carter. Then, she cried on the phone with me. How meaningful this was for me.
Those days were so important.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Carter Luke Vermilyea - Part 6
Ryan and I just spent the day loving on Carter. My mom hung out with Caroline during the day and visited with me and Carter some too. Ryan and I had some time to begin to talk, work, and pray through all that had changed so quickly (to our knowledge, but not the Lord’s, of course). It was so emotional at times. It is hard to explain. Maybe in the next post.
There were lots of joys during the day. All the nurses said Carter was the cutest little man they had ever seen. Carter nursed way better than Caroline ever did. The nurses were the best ever…and really took wonderful care of me and Carter. (And they were never there unless you needed them!) It really allowed my mom and Ryan to care for Caroline and be there for me emotionally.
My dad was supposed to come up the day after Carter was born, but when he heard about Carter’s arm, he left right away. It was a blessing to us to have him with us, and meant so much to me to hug my dad that day. He got in around 10:00 that night and came to our room to meet Carter. What a special time. I can see it so clearly in my mind.
Oh, and Ryan took Caroline out to dinner that night. She got to choose where to go…and where did she choose? Waffle House. Yea, that was odd. But, it made for a good laugh. And yes, that’s where they went.
(read more tomorrow)
Ryan and I just spent the day loving on Carter. My mom hung out with Caroline during the day and visited with me and Carter some too. Ryan and I had some time to begin to talk, work, and pray through all that had changed so quickly (to our knowledge, but not the Lord’s, of course). It was so emotional at times. It is hard to explain. Maybe in the next post.
There were lots of joys during the day. All the nurses said Carter was the cutest little man they had ever seen. Carter nursed way better than Caroline ever did. The nurses were the best ever…and really took wonderful care of me and Carter. (And they were never there unless you needed them!) It really allowed my mom and Ryan to care for Caroline and be there for me emotionally.
My dad was supposed to come up the day after Carter was born, but when he heard about Carter’s arm, he left right away. It was a blessing to us to have him with us, and meant so much to me to hug my dad that day. He got in around 10:00 that night and came to our room to meet Carter. What a special time. I can see it so clearly in my mind.
Oh, and Ryan took Caroline out to dinner that night. She got to choose where to go…and where did she choose? Waffle House. Yea, that was odd. But, it made for a good laugh. And yes, that’s where they went.
(read more tomorrow)
Monday, March 29, 2010
Carter Luke Vermilyea - Part 5
Ryan headed off to the nursery to be with Carter while I was stitched up. I sat there trying to figure out how this was all mistaken on the ultrasounds. I realized the first technician had her lefts and rights wrong the whole time. Before I was taken to recovery the doctor talked with me for a moment. I cried through all he had to say. He just apologized for all the mix ups on the ultrasounds, but assured me that Carter seemed healthy in all other ways. He said he would be just fine, that he was a beautiful baby.
My mom had come into town the night before and was at home with Caroline. Ryan had called her after Carter was born so she and Caroline could come up to see him. I was taken to the recovery room and minutes later my mom showed up. They brought Carter in right away also. I can still remember holding him, all wrapped up in the blanket, and just crying with my mom. I don’t know how to explain what I was feeling, really. I feel bad to say I was crying, but it wasn’t a sad cry necessarily. It was a cry of joyfulness at this birth, yet also being scared of what was ahead, and partly sad, wondering why he would have to deal with this. My mind was racing…will he be okay? How will he do things with one hand? Is this real?
I can vividly remember pulling Carter’s blanket back to look at his arm. It was so hard. My mom cried with me. I was so worried for him and scared. Why did this have to happen to him? His arm stopped about a third of the way between his elbow and where the wrist would be. This is when I noticed that he also had a few really tiny fingers on his arm. That worried me too…why did he have to have those fingers there? Wouldn’t that give something else someone could make fun of him for? I felt bad for him. My heart ached. But overall, I felt such a strong love for him.
(I'd love to know if you are reading this and God is using it in some way!)
Ryan headed off to the nursery to be with Carter while I was stitched up. I sat there trying to figure out how this was all mistaken on the ultrasounds. I realized the first technician had her lefts and rights wrong the whole time. Before I was taken to recovery the doctor talked with me for a moment. I cried through all he had to say. He just apologized for all the mix ups on the ultrasounds, but assured me that Carter seemed healthy in all other ways. He said he would be just fine, that he was a beautiful baby.
My mom had come into town the night before and was at home with Caroline. Ryan had called her after Carter was born so she and Caroline could come up to see him. I was taken to the recovery room and minutes later my mom showed up. They brought Carter in right away also. I can still remember holding him, all wrapped up in the blanket, and just crying with my mom. I don’t know how to explain what I was feeling, really. I feel bad to say I was crying, but it wasn’t a sad cry necessarily. It was a cry of joyfulness at this birth, yet also being scared of what was ahead, and partly sad, wondering why he would have to deal with this. My mind was racing…will he be okay? How will he do things with one hand? Is this real?
I can vividly remember pulling Carter’s blanket back to look at his arm. It was so hard. My mom cried with me. I was so worried for him and scared. Why did this have to happen to him? His arm stopped about a third of the way between his elbow and where the wrist would be. This is when I noticed that he also had a few really tiny fingers on his arm. That worried me too…why did he have to have those fingers there? Wouldn’t that give something else someone could make fun of him for? I felt bad for him. My heart ached. But overall, I felt such a strong love for him.
(I'd love to know if you are reading this and God is using it in some way!)
Sunday, March 28, 2010
SWAGBUCKS
Many months ago I posted a link asking everyone to sign up for swagbucks as a referral from me. I thought I would give some more information in case you are interested! I have already earned over $130 in Amazon gift cards by cashing in my swagbucks, and have 5 more to purchase the first of the month.
Swagbucks is a website that is just a search engine like google or something else. (It's actually powered by google.) However, as you use it to search the world wide web you earn "swagbucks", which can then be used to purchase gift cards to places like Amazon or Starbucks (lots more to choose from.) You can also shop at a lot of online stores through their website and earn 1 swagbuck for every $5 you spend. When you sign up using my referral link I earn swagbucks every time you do. Plus, you can have someone sign up under you and earn more swagbucks for yourself! Since starting this, I have already earned tons of swagbucks for doing nothing but what I usually do! When I get to 45 swagbucks, I can buy a $5 Amazon gift card! They add up quickly, and I have bought lots of things we need and want but couldn't otherwise buy. It's pretty cool!
And here's a tip....if you sign up, you can make swagbucks be your search engine on your internet page, and then even search the things you know the web address for. That is what we do and it is how we earn the most bucks. (like facebook, weather.com, etc.) I type it into the search box, then clikc on the website that shows up below...it is just as fast and I earn bucks every day!
Consider doing it....
If you are interested, sign up at Swagbucks.
Many months ago I posted a link asking everyone to sign up for swagbucks as a referral from me. I thought I would give some more information in case you are interested! I have already earned over $130 in Amazon gift cards by cashing in my swagbucks, and have 5 more to purchase the first of the month.
Swagbucks is a website that is just a search engine like google or something else. (It's actually powered by google.) However, as you use it to search the world wide web you earn "swagbucks", which can then be used to purchase gift cards to places like Amazon or Starbucks (lots more to choose from.) You can also shop at a lot of online stores through their website and earn 1 swagbuck for every $5 you spend. When you sign up using my referral link I earn swagbucks every time you do. Plus, you can have someone sign up under you and earn more swagbucks for yourself! Since starting this, I have already earned tons of swagbucks for doing nothing but what I usually do! When I get to 45 swagbucks, I can buy a $5 Amazon gift card! They add up quickly, and I have bought lots of things we need and want but couldn't otherwise buy. It's pretty cool!
And here's a tip....if you sign up, you can make swagbucks be your search engine on your internet page, and then even search the things you know the web address for. That is what we do and it is how we earn the most bucks. (like facebook, weather.com, etc.) I type it into the search box, then clikc on the website that shows up below...it is just as fast and I earn bucks every day!
Consider doing it....
If you are interested, sign up at Swagbucks.
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