Sunday, April 4, 2010

Carter Luke Vermilyea - Part 11

A lot of talking, prayer, and crying went into the preparation for going home from the hospital. Ryan and I were both excited to take Carter home. We were especially excited for Caroline to get to meet her baby brother. With this excitement came the uncertainty of what she would say about his missing hand. We had not talked to her about it yet, because we wanted her to see his arm at the same time we were talking about it. Would would she say? What she be scared of his arm? Would she not love him because it was “different”? Would she think something was wrong with him? What if she asked why he was like that? How would we talk to her about it without becoming emotional? We knew we wanted to be honest with her about it and we would not hide our emotions, but we know that whatever we portrayed to her would be how she would react too. Caroline might have only been 2 ½ years old, but she is quite observant and verbal!
So, we headed home from the hospital, very excited yet a little anxious too.

I can still see Caroline come running out the door when we got home. She couldn’t wait to see Carter! We were excited to see her and ready to explain to her about her brother. My parents were there, but they just allowed the four of us, our new little family, the time to sit and talk. All Caroline wanted to do was hold Carter! Before we got him out of the car seat, Ryan talked to Caroline.

Ryan: Who made you?
Caroline: God. Can I hold baby Carter?
Ryan: Well, God made Carter too. You know how he made you with two hands?
Caroline: Yea. Can I hold him?
Ryan: Well, he only made Carter with one hand. (And we showed her Carter’s arm.)
Caroline: Oh, ok. Well, can I hold him now?

So we finally let Caroline hold Carter.

Pretty special to us that Caroline didn’t care that he only had one hand. It wasn’t a big deal. She just wanted to hold him. Isn’t that neat? She wasn’t concerned with what we found ourselves worried about. She just wanted to love on her sweet baby brother. My prayer is that that will always be our attitude. That we will try not to worry over the what-ifs, or over how Carter will do things. But just love on him and allow him to be who God made him to be.

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