Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Carter Luke Vermilyea - Part 21

So, where are we today, you may ask?
Looking back over the past 5 months since Carter was born, it is amazing to see the growth I have gone through emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Emotionally, I have gone from crying often because I didn’t know how Carter would do things with only one hand, to crying tears of joy and amazement when I see him ALREADY using his arm to do many things. Mentally, I have gone from constantly thinking about his missing hand and concerning myself over what that means, to rarely thinking about it and being unable to imagine him any different. Spiritually, I have always known that God created Carter with only one hand. But the change has come in the way I trust God’s plan. In the beginning, I worried a lot about how he would do things (from crawling to holding his wive’s hand one day), but now I am excited about what God is going to do in Carter’s life and how he is going to use him for His own glory.

Do I still get emotional sometimes? Do I still cry? Yes, there are times it is still quite emotional. A little while ago I looked at Carter taking a nap. I saw his arm, and many emotions came flooding back. There are times now that my heart breaks when I see him playing with his toys on his highchair tray, and he gets frustrated because he can’t reach them. He doesn’t know why he can’t, but I do. These things are emotional and sometimes leave a little lump in my throat, but I have no doubt that God created Carter the way he is, that it was no accident, and that the Creator will take care of him always.

We are excited to see how God will use Carter’s life for his glory and hope that maybe, through sharing this journey, He already has. We look forward to the day that Carter attracts attention because he is doing something “one-handed” and he then shares about God, who created him that way.

I remember a conversation I had with my mom a few days after Carter was born. (Did I already share this?) Things were still so new, but even then I told her that I felt like maybe one day I would stand in front of others, maybe a MOPS group or something else, and share how God had used this situation in our life and Carter’s. That I could encourage others who may be going through a difficult situation. The specific thing I told my mom, though, was that I HATE to speak in front of people. But I could see how he was already changing me to one day be able to share. I may never have opportunity, but to feel that change in my own spirit is neat.

As far as Ryan’s thoughts at this point, I am going to let him share. I will put it up as my next post. He wants to write from his perspective. Maybe I can also get Caroline to share some things – that would be awesome!

1 comment:

  1. Kim,

    I really loved "living" through the journey with you guys. Reading several posts in one sitting you can really see how God continuously moved and grew your family. Can't wait to see how God uses Carter's life in mighty ways for His fame!